good things are worth waiting for . . .
aitch called last night and we spoke of loves, strategies and common sense . . .
you will not find it surprising that at such a time as this I look for comfort and solace in my heart's memory. this heart is an engine of many parts and is fueled by love and affection, friendship and understanding. when the main supply runs dry there are always the reserve tanks to rely on, lest I stall. I am blessed with three such distinctive reserves though I do not feel worthy of this privilege - my family, my friends and my love for another. we spoke of each but, in particular, the latter.
for several months now, despite my apparently ever-changing 'romantic' circumstances, my heart's desire has remained true to one for whom I still hold the hope of a permanent bond. for me it is not a case of knowing one's own true feelings though the circumstances may suggest that these feelings were falsely born having been initiated by the need to fill the vacuum left by the two-dimensional relationship with my adoptive parents and the recent break-up of my marriage. that may have indeed been the case when I first set out on my quest to find a replacement 'partner'; the same may be said of my impetuous purchase of two totally unsuitable canine companions after custody of my two previous dogs reverted to my ex-wife. I am, by nature, an impetuous person and I am constantly falling foul of this unfortunate tendency and others, I am sad to say, have also suffered as a result. for that I am truly sorry.
aitch made the point about how difficult it would be for someone to virtually give up the life they know, however stressful and demanding, for an uncertain future in an unfamiliar place amongst people they hardly know. it may seem obvious but I was blinded at first by my single-minded infatuation and baseless optimism. I understand now and I should have understood earlier though the optimism still remains and that infatuation has blossomed into something else. I now know that good things are worth waiting for; after all, I found my family after 52 years, what better proof could there be than that? it's quite a revelation for me and that maxim alone has given me great peace . . .
